There’s No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

I am 100% southern and have spent my life living in the land where everyone smiles and waves at you and use phrases like “yes ma’am, no sir, and ya’ll take care now.” I reek of the southern charm and manners that my mama and daddy beat, I mean ingrained in me, so being rude doesn’t come natural to me. I’m also from a thrifty family where money was always short, but my parents managed to stretch it and provide an annual family vacation. On more than one occasion we received “free” tickets to theme parks or dinner shows through time share sales pitches. Heck, my mother even owns a timeshare at Styx River in Robertsdale, Alabama.

It’s our first time in Vegas, and we are wandering through the Venetian when we are approached by a man in suit with a name tag asking “How long are you in town for?” I say “5 days”. He responds with “Do you have dinner or show plans? I can get you free tickets for 2 hours of your time.” Being polite, (as we were raised to be) we continue to engage the conversation, and the next thing I knew I charged $50 to the credit card and promised to meet at the staircase at 9:30 tomorrow for my resort tour and free gifts. Yeah, I know I gave them $50.

Such a rule follower and anxious to get my free stuff, we arrive the next day at the rendezvous point at 9:30 to find a handful of other suckers waiting. A representative doesn’t show up until10 and at that point they are still recruiting volunteers for this new resort tour. We wait, and wait, and wait realizing that the $50 we paid was to ensure we showed up and didn’t leave because we are now “invested.” We load shuttles around 11 and depart for the new South Point Hotel and Casino. We are presented with a platter of Jason’s Deli sandwiches that are all drowning in mayonnaise (vomits in mouth). So we skip lunch and make a commitment to get through the tour quickly. But my husband has a gift of gab, and our tour guide/salesperson was very nice and the talking and tour went on and on and on forever. I was ready to die… both of boredom and hunger. At 2:00 our tour finally ends and after we decline the “once in a lifetime offer to own a timeshare in fabulous Las Vegas” we are sent to a grey, stuffy crowded office to wait our turn to receive our “free” tickets.

To our disappointment the sale isn’t over until the next level manager asks “what would it take for you to buy today” and “I’m going to make you an offer that I can’t make to just anyone” speech.  I’m really hungry now, and furious at myself for falling for a time share gimmick because we have wasted an entire day with this $h*t. I lose my southern manners and spout things like “you promised 2 hours it’s now been like 5, just give me the free tickets, you guys are liars and at this point I would NEVER consider staying at this resort.”  Pissed off, but with tickets in our pockets, we take a lame shuttle and finally arrive back at our resort around 4 pm. And you better believe that I took advantage of my free outdoor Gondola ride and Italian dinner…

The time share recruiters are found in every resort near the elevators or main entrances of the casinos. They are usually wearing blue or red suits and they give the appearance that they are resort staff who want to help you have a nice stay. It was Grandview that suckered us. They will always try to stop you…. My heart hardened quicker than my husband, who for several years would exchange niceties before declining. Now, and this is a Chasing Tip… Just keep walking because free isn’t free and 2 hours is more like 8 hours. #Chaseme… and run  away from the time share booth.